I blamed everyone except myself

One evening a record sounded distorted and scratchy, and within minutes I had a suspect. And guess what? It was the wrong one.

I called my dealer, who tolerated me for about five seconds before telling me to either execute the cleaning cloth or fire my cleaning lady. That was all the encouragement I needed. I confronted my spouse about the cleaning lady breaking our house rule on the audio gear, and there was shouting, accusations and drama.

Then I remembered. I had cleaned the turntable myself the night before, with friends coming over for a listening session. Under the magnifier on my workbench the needle was bent, not broken, just sad and crooked; the cleaning cloth had caught the cantilever.

So the accused was innocent and the prosecutor was guilty. I got in the car in my pyjamas and drove to the dealer, which tells you how clearly I was thinking that day. Respect your gear: cleaning is good, being careful is better.

Always blame yourself first. I am still apologising for doing it the other way round.